Not a Scratch
by HecateA
Summary: In which Apollo enslaves his children for car-washing purposes. Oneshot.


**So this story came from... I don't know. And it exists because... because I have tons of feelings about the Cabin Seven counselors? No idea. But enjoy anyways! Also you should know that it's set before Battle of the Labyrinth.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the following characters.**

* * *

**Not a Scratch**

* * *

Lee hadn't quite realised that he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. In his lucky-go-happy and currently fangirling mind, he just had a ring of keys in his hand. Keys to a pretty _sweet _ride, if he did say so himself.

"Not a scratch," Apollo said. "I'll pick it up at the end of the day, and by then I want it to be so clean, it shines."

"It's the sun chariot," Kayla said, a little hypnotised by the car's mere presence. "It _already _shines."

"You've got buckets of water and tons of soap," Apollo said. "Do what you can. And remember; not a scratch."

"Can we take it out for a spin after?" Austin asked, excited.

"I said 'not a scratch'," Apollo said. "That means I _definitely _don't want it destroyed."

And with that, the Lord of the Sun was gone.

* * *

They all starred at the car awkwardly for a while. There was a certain _oomf _to an ancient manifestation of the most significant celestial objects in the galaxy masquerading as a Ferrari F550. An _oomf _that made touching it terrifying.

"Well, I'm oldest," Lee said. "I've lived longer than the rest of you, making my death less of a tragedy if it happens. I'll go first."

Nobody objected and so with that, he smashed a wet, soapy sponge against the car's bright red paint job.

"It's safe to the touch!" Austin cheered.

And so they started.

* * *

Kayla and Austin's mother had a strict no-eating-in-the-car rule going, and she enforced it with more might than the US army could ever muster.

They saw why when they worked on the car's inside.

"Twenty-seven," Kayla said plucking another empty back of chips from between seats.

"Twenty-eight," Austin said finding yet another bottle of Dr Pepper.

Lee produced an empty Oreo box (double stuffing of course, this was a god's trash) and said, "Twenty-nine."

She must've feared that it was hereditary.

* * *

Lee screamed.

"What is that?" He said slapping the back of his neck. Something slimy was slowing oozing its way down and into his shirt.

Michael was killing himself, holding a bottle of dish soap in his hands. Bubbles decorated the top. Austin, Will and Kayla were equally thrilled.

Lee grabbed a bucket of water and lifted it up.

"Don't you dare!" Michael said. "I will literally snap every arrow in your quiver if you do!"

Lee had learned long ago to take Michael's threats seriously. It _had _been done, among other much worst revenges.

_Will, _on the other hand… he'd never shredded any sheet music or snapped guitar strings…

So SPLOOSH!

* * *

_"At the car wash,"_ Lee hummed. "_Workin' at the car wash, yeah."_

"In the woods," Michael parodied. "Kicked out and sleeping in the goddamned _woods _if you don't stop you little musical bastard."

* * *

"Tickle, tickle, tickle…"

"Don't you dare!" Kayla shrieked, slapping wildly. She made contact with the offending brother's head, sending Lee back a few paces.

"Ouch," he said pitifully, rubbing the side of his face.

"I grew up with Austin," she said. "I take tickling _very _seriously."

She had her legs looped around Will's neck and she was keeping herself as steady as she could while he gave her a boost so that she could get the top of the car clean.

"You were asking for it!" Lee said. It was true, she'd taken her shoes off after the water fight and her feet were bare. That was too much for her air headed brothers to resist.

* * *

"Who in the world was in charge of the bumper?" Lee asked.

"Me," Michael said.

"You did a piss-poor job," Lee said.

"What?" Michael said offended. "You're crazy! That part's shining!"

"You missed a spot," Lee said pointing it out.

"No I didn't!" Michael said protectively.

"Just because it shines doesn't mean that it's clean. It _naturally _shines."

"So nobody sees a difference, big deal."

"Our dad's the sun god. _He'll _see a difference."

"Oh, come on."

"Get back out there," Lee said.

"It's good enough!"

"That what your mother used to say to make herself feel better?"

Michael went back to scrub.

* * *

Austin sucked in a breath.

"Guys," he said. "Guys we've got a problem. No- no- _guys..."_

"What?" Lee asked. The look of horror on his brother's face was enough to make him go around and check out whatever was so bad. He nearly passed out, and so all the siblings checked out the passenger side door.

"No…" Michael said. "No way. We didn't…"

"We didn't touch it!" Kayla and Austin screeched, backing up.

"It wasn't me, man," Lee said. "I just noticed right now, same as everyone else."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Will said. "Just because I'm the last to say it doesn't mean that it was me- I didn't do it either!"

"Mmm, you _were _the last." Kayla said.

"What happened to 'you smelt it, you dealt it'?" Will asked.

"That's about farting," Lee said holding fistfuls of his hair. "Not scratching the passenger door of the goddamned _sun chariot."_

"What rule is there about scratching the sun chariot?" Austin panicked. "No rule- because nobody _does that and lives to make rules!" _

"Stop panicking," Lee said. "Look- car's clean already, but Dad's only picking it up tonight. We're fine. We can make this work. We can fix it. As long as someone has a plan."

* * *

"Yeah, you're screwed," Beckendorf said getting up after a thorough examination.

"What do you mean?" Kayla worried, holding her elbows.

"Your car's got four layers," Beckendorf said using his hands to illustrate. "Clear coat, colour, primer and steel."

"Okay," Lee said. "Sure. So?"

"See how the scratch has a different colour of steel?" Beckendorf said. "It's deep, man."

"Can't you fix it?" Lee asked. "Come on man, you owe me one."

"Actually you owe _me _one." Beckendorf said. "And I _maybe _could on a regular car, but this is the sun chariot."

"So it's too much for you to handle, that it?" Michael asked.

"No, it means that it's magic and probably requires something special," Beckendorf said. "Also that's hot talk from a guy who scratched the most important vehicle in the world."

Michael blushed. "It wasn't me."

"So that's it? You're not even going to _try?" _Will asked. "That's not fair! I want a second opinion."

Beckendorf raised his hands. "Feel free. _I'm _telling you that it won't work, but you can go get your boyfriend if you want."

Will blushed bright red, like the sacred cows.

* * *

However half an hour later Jake was in fact on scene with his tool belt around his waist, tugging at his own hair.

"Sorry," he said. He'd washed the car, he'd dried it, sanded the scratch, polished it… It was no use. Beckendorf had been right.

"Shit," Lee said. "Shit, shit, shit."

"How did you guys even _do _that?" Jake said examining the scratch and looking at Will worriedly.

"We don't know," Kayla said. "We don't even know _who _did it."

"So you're all going to get blasted to pieces?" Jake asked.

* * *

Travis whistled.

"We've never scratched a car that badly before," he said patting the sun chariot's door.

"Yeah," Chris nodded. "Ditto. I usually just crash them."

"Seriously?" Lee groaned. "Connor, you?"

Connor shook his head.

"No man. That's the kind of scratch that I usually only _hope _for. Which one of you lucky little fuckers got it on the first try?"

"Next option," Michael said, pissed off.

* * *

"So how do we hide this scratch?" Lee asked.

Annabeth and Malcolm whispered to each other for a while.

"We don't know enough," Annabeth said.

"What do you mean you don't know enough?" Lee choked.

"Well, we don't have enough data to correctly formulate a solution," Malcolm said.

The children of Apollo blinked, confused.

Annabeth sighed. "For example, when the sun chariot is functioning does its outside heat up?"

"What metal does it commonly exist in?"

"What's the chariot's cruising speed?" Annabeth asked. The questions only got worst.

"How can its transformation process be classified?"

"Does it ever morph into something other than a car nowadays?"

"How drastic is the climate change that the chariot goes through in a single day?"

"How often is the chariot off for maintenance?"

"Does it have an autopilot feature or is there always a driver onboard?"

"What kind of fuel does it run on?"

"What kind of paint was used?"

"Yeah, you're right," Michael said quickly. "Oh, dear, guess that you guys just have to go and we'll figure something out."

* * *

"Percy," Lee said nervously. "We need help."

"With what?" Percy asked.

"The sun chariot. Something's wrong."

"Did you try turning it on and off again?" Percy asked.

Lee didn't even know why he'd asked this guy out of all the guys.

* * *

"…Children of Hephaestus- out. Children of Athena – also out. Telling Dad that we scratched his car…"

"That was never _in," _Michael said. "Next option?"

"That was it," Lee said. "We went all around camp, we asked everyone."

"We're all screwed?" Austin asked. "Like, for sure now?"

"No, no, no," Lee said. "I'm counselor. I'll talk to Dad and take the blame."

"Lee," Will sighed.

"Yeah, Lee, don't," Michael said.

"You have any better idea?" Lee asked. "Do you want us to all die together? That it? Holding hands and singing Kumbaya?"

"I've got it!" Kayla cheered. "Someone who'd know how to operate the sun chariot super well- but not dad. Someone who wouldn't rat us out to Apollo…"

"Who?" Austin asked grabbing his sister's shoulders. "Speak, we're wasting daylight."

Kayla's eyes glittered.

* * *

"This was not a brilliant idea," Austin said.

"Quiet, we're praying," his sister shushed.

"Demigods don't pray," he repeated.

"Well, kids who just busted up their almighty father's car do," Lee said, "so you know what, if you're going to be difficult you can think of it that…"

"You _busted_ the_ sun chariot?"_

They all jumped a little and opened their eyes to see Helios. He didn't even blind them a bit at first, they'd seen their father that very morning and though he radiated light, Helios wasn't as bright. He was a decade or so older than Apollo. If Apollo were the teen heartthrob, he was the classy middle-aged man with that perfect blend of gray and white on the top of his head and dazzling eyes to go with the smile. He had high cheekbones. If he could act, he'd be the kind of actor that mothers and their daughters and unborn generations agreed on.

"We didn't…" Lee said. "It's not _busted."_

Helios grinned like a madman.

"What's wrong with it?"

"There's a scratch." Lee said.

"A _scratch?" _Helios laughed. "Oh yes! Your dad is going to _flip!" _

"Look, you drove the sun chariot before he did, Lord Helios," Kayla pleaded. "Surely you know how to… surely you can _fix _things like this…"

Helios scratched the back of his neck.

"Maybe," he admitted.

"No, sir, not maybe," Will said. "Please do."

It was nearly supper time. They'd spent all day running around, and if they didn't fix the problem soon- that would be their last day's activities. Great.

"What's in it for me?" Helios said leaning back against the hearth they'd sacrificed to.

"What's in it for you?" Lee asked. "Well, umm… knowing that the sun chariot's in a good state?"

"I haven't driven that thing in ages," Helios said. "I'm not attached. Besides, a scratch hardly _damages _it. It only damages you since Apollo's going to kill you."

They were really sweating now.

"Knowing that you spared a bunch of innocent lives?" Will said.

"Innocent?" Helios said. "You're going to try to tell me that you're innocent Mr Camp Heartthrob? Don't think that just because I'm a minor god I don't hear Olympian gossip."

Will blushed deeply.

"Okay, okay," Lee said giving his siblings a look. "I guess that we… we _could _bargain…"

Helios grinned.

* * *

Apollo whistled as he exited the Big House. Chiron was _so _picky about gods popping up around camp at random. Plus he was still mad about last Winter's crash-landing with the hunters and co., so he really did have to follow procedure.

The Sun Chariot was parked right behind the blue house. His kids were all huddled behind it, looking collectively embarrassed.

"My favourite car-washers," Apollo cheered. "It's looking good guys."

"That's 'cause it is good," Austin said. "Like, real good. Like, perfect. Ly. Good."

Apollo ignored him. Austin was a special one. That's what it was like with twins, you could get two for the price of one but it was quality not quantity. Speaking of which, Kayla hit him.

"Can I get the keys?" Apollo asked.

Lee nodded and tossed them over, but he missed.

"Since when do you have bad aim?" Apollo asked.

Lee muttered something sinful, some kind of curse to some kind of old Titan-god, and waddled away from the group to pick up the keys and bring them to him. That's when Apollo saw his shirt.

It was a parody of the one that every single New York tourist in the history of tourism had gone home with- black on white with a big red heart. Except instead of proclaiming a love for NY, Lee's t'shirt read 'I Heart Helios'.

Apollo frowned and took the keys. Lee blushed red and said something about counselor chores before running off. The others, all in matching shirts, weren't much in the mood to chat either.

"Okay," Apollo said. "Well, I'll be going."

"Okay," they said as a choir.

"It was… It was nice seeing you guys again." Apollo said. "Keep being…"

He didn't know what to say so he just winked, waved and got in the car.

He didn't even _want_ to know. At least the car was clean.


End file.
